Pregnancy Roller Coaster

As I near more and more to the third and final trimester of this wild ride the aches, pains, emotions and crazy thoughts seem to get more intense. Already there are times I feel like I can't do this. I've taken my body as far as it can go. I've stretched my belly to max capacity. I've stretched my bowels as far as they can go (because I'm constipated.) Every part of me seems to ache already and I have not even reached the worst part yet. 

I am reminded almost on a daily basis that it will just get worse and I will just get bigger. I already have an uncomfortable nights sleep and it'll just get worse the bigger I get. I already have back pain which has limited the workouts I can do. Which in turns makes me feel fat and lazy and irresponsible.  I am probably just making excuses but hey I'm pregnant so I can right?

On top of the uncomfortableness already plaguing my pregnant body, I have also come down with what feels like the plague. This is the 2nd time since I found out I was pregnant that I have come down with an illness. Why??? While doing Chemo for 6 months I never once got a cold or anything. I assume my immune system was more compromised at that time. Apparently my body does not approve of being pregnant. I had assumed with my regular pre pregnancy fitness and strong body that pregnancy would be a breeze for me but I assumed too much it seems. 

This past two weeks of being sick and this most recent week being the worst I found myself crying in the shower almost daily. I tried to hide it from my husband as I didn't want him thinking I was weak or hormonal. Even though, chances are hormones had a huge part in it. I didn't like what my body was doing. My body is ever expanding. Will it go back to how it was? Does my husband still like me? I am growing a human how come I am being tortured with a cold? How come I can't take anything to ease the pain and congestion of this cold? How come everyone seems so nonchalant about my near death experience? Okay that is too far. But seriously I now know how much cold medicine helps in these situations. 

Let me break it down what has been going on so you don't think I'm making a mountain from a mole hill.... I'm only making a bigger mole hill out of a small mole hill. It started with me losing my voice, sore throat, cough, congestion, the usual. Then my eyes got infected and started oozing and swelling (not pink eye.) I was waking up with bloody noses probably due to the heat, dryness and constant nose blowing. I would blow my nose every morning and what felt like gallons of bright green snot would just pour out and never stop. This was accompanied by headaches on and off. Because I could not breathe through my nose what so ever, I was breathing out of my mouth which caused my lips to dry, crack and bleed. Also because I cannot breathe from my nose my throat is always sore. And now the coughing seems to be never ending. But I have my voice back, other than the nasally sound. This is giving me some kind of hope that I am on my way to getting better. And again hormones would wake me up in the middle of the night and make me cry because I was so miserable. 

Now I know it sounds like not that big of a deal, which its not. But I cannot take anything to sooth or help any of my situations. I have doctor approved throat lozenges and some strong chap stick. Other than that I have been trying all the crazy home remedies people have thrown at me. Imagine you getting this cold with some minor congestion your first instinct is to grab some DayQuil or something. On top of this since I am saving sick time to use for Maternity leave, I have only missed one day of work and half of that was spent working from home before I gave up and decided to take some unpaid time to rest. Other than that I have been at work coughing all over my coworkers. Sorry guys!

As I type this between coughs I have a little hope I am on my way to getting over this sickness. Alright enough complaining about my cold and tooting my horn for working and dealing with it med free. Is this mom life? Oh well, over this hump and onto the third trimester! Meeting little Harper will be worth it all in the end.